Escape From Iguana Island

Wherein I get lost. Repeatedly.

So I made it to Jacksonville. As soon as I got on the ferry to go to the air terminal I realized I had forgotten to grab my (or Edwin's depending on how you look at it) jacket. The flight wasn't too bad, and a lot of people I work with were on the same flight so I wasn't completely on my own while finding my luggage and getting my rental car.  Jacksonville is kind of overwhelming after being on GTMO so long. 45 mph feels really fast! Especially when the speed limit is 50. Let's just way I wasn't making friends.

One of my co-workers asked me to give him a ride to pick up his car and since it was in the same direction as the used book store I had heard so much of I decided to go ahead and visit the book store before checking into my hotel since it closes at 6 and doesn't open on Sundays.

The place wasn't hard to find. I wish i had had a camera. After not seeing a bookstore in 6 months this was like showing up at the holy land. I almost cried and I did actually get lost. When they describe this place as labyrinthine they are being dead set honest. Seriously, you could hide a minotaur in that place and the only way you would notice if is customers started to go missing. It was only the thought that i need something other than books and hardbacks way too much that kept me limited to $40.

So then i roll back up to the gate to the base and hand over my cac card and rental agreement. He scans it, smiles, starts to hand it back, then frowns and looks at it harder and goes," Who is Aimee Millspaugh?" I responded with a very clarifying, "Huh?" I finally managed to get out that it was my maiden name and I'm not sure where enterprise got it from. I mean i reserved my car through dts, i paid with my government travel card, i gave them my driver's license with my married name, and they even greeted me as Ms. Morrison when I walked up to the desk. So why the fuck does my car rental agreement that I use to get on the base not match my id?!?!? So he let me in, but he told me to get it checked out...

Unfortunately the place closes at 5 and this event occurred at 6, they don't open on Sunday, and i fly out on Monday morning... so there's no getting that fixed... So now I'm afraid to leave the base in case they won't let me back on... so maybe I'll just hit the nex tomorrow and do my heavy shopping in Huntsville. Either way I need a hoodie or sweater of some kind. Its frickin cold. But god I would love to wander around that super target a block from base... the thing is the size of a mall! I feel old.

So i got lost in the bookstore, i got lost on base (twice) and now I'm not leaving my fucking room again tonight.

Traveling alone sucks.

Eye Ball Update and Other Goals

So when I left you last week you were left wondering if I would ever get those thrice damned contacts into my eyes. Well I did! And I was ever so proud of myself. So proud of myself in fact, that the same day i got them in successfully I ran to the nex and got myself some off the shelf sunglasses! This is the first time I've been able to buy sunglasses off the shelf since I was 11! Its the first time I've worn sunglasses period in at least 5 or more years. They are huge and brandon makes fun of me, but i figure if i can use pretzels as mandibles while i'm bored at work then having sunglasses that make me look like a bug are the least of my worries and I think they are cute.

Also I kidnapped the Bull Ensign hat before our office party (my job has the awesomest parties). I want one. It makes me feel like a viking! Or a bobble head. Not sure which. That thing is heavy. 

Back to the eye balls though. So not only are these the first sunglasses in a long time, its also the first time I have seen my face without glasses. Why didn't anyone tell me I have beady eyes!? I haven't seen my eyes not magnified by glasses since I was 11! I see a lot more makeup in my futures. Also apparently I'm going to need reading glasses when I wear contacts. Which, correct me if I am wrong, completely defeats the purpose of wearing contacts. WTH? 

Regarding goal #12 I am totally in my 2nd week of my first batch of quartz-y rocks that i mentioned in the Cuba:Cliff Notes blog!

This is them straight out of the coarse grit round. They are starting to get shiny and they kind of glow.

Goal #39 is now in progress. I'm reading Joseph Campbell's Masks of God Vol 1: Primitive Mythology. So far its very... Freudian. I haven't gotten very far yet. This is pretty heavy stuff and so far it has dealt more with psychology and biology than it has with mythology. Judging by the table of contents though I will get to the mythology eventually. I am not however a big fan of Freud. I know he was pretty cutting edge stuff in his day but I have strong feelings that all of my motivations stem from penis envy. And I have to admit that I rolled my eyes when the book discussed the universal fear of toothed vaginas.  Seriously? 

Goals #51, 54 and 58 are in progress thanks to my starting a personal training program this past monday and i have worked out 5 times in the last week (talk about killing two birds with one stone!). I'm not sure how fast I'll get results because I refuse to give up food. She told me I could eat as many fruits and veggies as I want so there has been a lot of tomatoes, strawberries, and grapes (and lots of truvia which is amazing). But I'm not punishing myself. Food is the only thing they have on this island and I will not deny myself one of the only joys left to me. Come between me and cake... see what happens. Exercise is the price we pay for delicious.

Goal #54 is in progress. We installed peg boards and cork boards and completely rearranged my craft room yesterday. I'm very nearly organized which is very exciting. I'll post pics once its nice and tidy.

Well that's all for now. I'm going to get back to organizing my rock collection by mohs scale. I totally just gained a rank in nerdy.

Here have a pretty cactus!

Eye Ball Related Goals

or Ow That's a Finger in My Eye

Fair warning people. There's probably going to be a bit of profanity. Normally it requires a recalcitrant computer to get me to the level of frustration I'm simmering at right now.

I woke up this morning feeling chipper, excited, and generally pleased with myself for being poised to knock off goals 48, 49, and 50 all in one fell swoop. I went in to work a half hour early to make up for my doctor's appointment and was knocking shit out this morning. Then I get to the doctor's appointment. Since I've never worn contacts before they asked me if I thought I would be ok with touching my own eye. I promptly responded that I was on so much anti-anxiety drugs I could damn well learn to. To try them out the doctor popped them right in no problem.

Then he sent me out to his underlings to try and learn how to get them out... This would be the turning point of the story. I had no problem touching my eye... I did have hard time getting the little bastard to LET GO OF MY EYE BALL! I eventually got my right contact out. After another while of poking and prodding I eventually managed to rub the left contact into the corner of my eye until it bunched and then peeled it off. Probably not good for my eye or my contact but screw it that fucker was coming out.

Then they wanted me to put that shit back in!

I tried. I really did! I tried for a long time. Even with the extra half hour built in I was still late getting back to work! For two hours I POKED MYSELF IN THE EYE! It wouldn't go in! I tried leaning over. I tried leaning back. I tried looking in the mirror and I tried doing it by touch. At one point I thought I had gotten in! Then I blinked and it was on my shirt. I think that's when the audible profanity began. If that guy told me I almost had it one more time I was gonna punch him. When my eyes started aching and I called the contact a goat fucker out loud instead of just in my head, I decided it was time to take a break and try again at home.

I did order my new glasses which I get to pick up tomorrow so number 48 gets scratched off tomorrow.  When I tried to order sunglasses however... they don't sell them on the island. Fucking GTMO.

So by the time I got back to work I wanted to chew nails and kick puppies and I wasn't nearly as productive as I thought.

So now I'm gonna go wash my hands and poke myself in the eye for another hour...

This crab is ready to box... just like me.
>.<

Operation Don’t Fail at Life, Go!

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the List

Getting something started is always hard, a blog no less so than anything else in life. What to talk about? How to segue between multiple obsessions and fascinating life experiences? Do I focus on just one passion or blog about my life? So many little decisions to paralyze you. But the hardest step is the first one. Just doing it.

Recently I embarked upon 101 goals in 1001 days. I posted my listed on Friday January 14th 2011. And goal number 77 was start a blog. So here it is scratch that puppy off the list! Productivity tastes so good!

1. Make a corset dress
2. Make a button down shirt
3. Make a pair of pants
4. Make a pencil skirt
5. Finish a Victorian dress
6. Make a fish tail skirt
7. Make a tailored jacket
8. Embroider something
9. Make a plunge corset
10. Do a water color painting
11. Make a quilt
12. Tumble a batch of rocks
13. Make a wire brooch
14. Drill a piece of sea glass
15. Make a wire wrap ring
16. Complete a steampunk costume
17. Draw a still life
18. Do a fashion drawing
19. Make an article of clothing for someone else
20. Make something for Avery
21. Make something for Abbi
22. Make something for Amber
23. Make something for Matthew
24. Make something for Mom
25. Make something for Dad
26. Make something for Janelle
27. Make something for Gary
28. Finish a cross-stitch
29. Make a hair piece
30. Finish the argyle scarf
31. Learn to knit lace
32. Learn to tat
33. Go on a real vacation
34. Visit ohio
35. Visit Tennessee
36. Visit hospital cay
37. Attend dragon con
38. Visit a Caribbean island
39. Read something by Joseph Campbell
40. Read the Annotated Alice in Wonderland
41. Read Stephen Hawking’s  Universe in a Nutshell
42. Read a book on palm reading
43. Read a book on tarot
44. Re-read the Mercy Thompson series
45. Re-read the Dresden Files
46. Read something steampunk
47. Read about a conspiracy theory (Currently reading 12th planet)
48. Get new glasses (appointment made with optometrist)
49. Try contacts (appointment made with optometrist)
50. Get prescription sunglasses (appointment made with optometrist)
51. Lose 20 lbs
52. Hike the full length of ridgeline trail
53. Start learning Spanish
54. Organize the craftroom
55. Establish an exercise routine you can maintain
56. Study geology
57. Clean out closet and be realistic
58. Exercise 30 minutes 3x’s a week for a month
59. Talk to a doctor about crunchy knees
60. Attend an exercise class once a week for a month
61. Drink 1 glass of plain water everyday for a month
62. Alternate between white and wheat bread
63. Reduce chocolaty desert to one serving a day
64. Complete a fun run/ walk
65. Organize my desk
66. Learn to glide
67. Learn to pop and lock
68. Learn to Charleston
69. Go see a movie
70. Take an online learning course
71. Attempt guided meditation
72. Try homemade salsa
73. Make homemade pizza
74. Make bread from scratch
75. Make a pineapple rum cake
76. Try 3 recipes from the boozy baker cookbook
77. Start a blog
78. Post to the blog at least once a month
79. Try 5 new recipes
80. Get dressed up
81. Get dressed up for no discernible reason
82. Go on 4 guided kayak trips
83. Cajole Brandon into getting his captain’s license
84. Rent a Boat
85. Go bird watching at sunrise
86. Get a half scale dress form
87. Get a walking foot for my sewing machine
88. Buy a stand mixer
89. Buy a serger
90. Save three months of income
91. Pay off a debt completely
92. Create a trip to japan nest egg
93. Create a budget
94. Stick to the budget for at least 3 months
95. Make a list of job hunting cities
96. Update my resume
97. Apply for 20 jobs before leaving cuba
98. Attend a credit management class
99. Attend training course for work
100. Make a profit off of a hobby
101. Get a step increase if not a pay grade increase

So this is where you can come to listen to me pat myself on the back, celebrate my crafter victories, and mourn my crafter defeats, and laugh at me everytime some of the wildlife makes me scream like a little girl.

Enjoy.